5 Myths About Emotions

Emotions are a crucial part of what makes up our inner world. They shape our experiences, relationships, and overall well-being. 

But in our everyday lives, we often find ourselves caught up in a whirlwind of our thoughts. We prioritize rationality, logic, and problem-solving and often forget to acknowledge our emotions.

Emotions serve as the language of our bodies, conveying important messages and shaping how we see the world. 

When we neglect our emotions, we create a gap between our thoughts and feelings, leaving us disconnected.

There are many myths about emotions, but by shining a light on these misconceptions, we can reconnect to our emotions in a healthy way.

Myth 1: Emotions only come from our thoughts

In the world of coaching, there’s a strong emphasis on the idea that all emotions are created by thoughts. Sometimes it’s easy to see how our thoughts are creating our emotions. When I think I’m doing a bad job, I can feel shame. When I think something might go wrong, I might feel fear.

But there are also times when you experience emotion and have no idea why. Then you spend time figuring out what story you are telling yourself or what thought you are having that is creating that emotion, and it doesn’t work!

The truth is that emotions are created by a combination of body, mind, and environment. Understanding this can help us stop trying to "fix" emotions and instead learn to be aware, validate, and accept them instead of spinning in our brains.

Myth 2: Emotions are scary

When you think about truly feeling your emotions, what comes up for you? Do you have fear or apprehension about your ability to handle those feelings?

Many of us have been taught our whole lives to ignore or set aside our emotions. Maybe you were told as a child that you shouldn’t feel sad, angry, or disappointed. Over time, you may have taught yourself that feeling your emotions isn’t safe.

But to get what we desire in life, we must be willing to feel a whole range of emotions. This means we can’t just think about our feelings but must be ready to feel and experience them genuinely. So, how do we make the shift?

First, you have to create a safe space for yourself to feel emotions again. Often, after years of trying not to feel them, it can take time for your emotions to resurface. Be patient with yourself.

Next, practice what I call emotional sprints. This means you will pick a short period of time to focus within and build up trust and safety for one emotion. As you practice, trusting yourself and building safety around experiencing any emotion will become easier.

You can learn more about this process in episode 227 of my podcast: Emotions are Not Scary.

Myth 3: If I allow emotions, they will take over

Have you heard the analogy of the beach ball? When you try to hold a beach ball underwater, it tries to pop up. Keeping that beach ball down in the water takes a lot of effort. 

Our emotions are like a beach ball. It doesn’t work to hold them down under the surface. In fact, when we do that, it takes so much effort that inevitably, they come to the surface – often with a lot of force!

Not feeling our emotions is actually what causes them to take over. 

When we try to keep them under the surface, they become so powerful that we react in ways we don’t want to. Instead, we want to learn how to allow our emotions to float on top like a beach ball.

When we allow emotions, they don’t take over, we don’t have to react to them, and we can just enjoy our lives! Learning to allow emotions is the key to controlling your reactions and experience.

Myth 4: I can only feel and process one emotion at a time.

When we believe we should only feel one emotion at a time, we often try to suppress or ignore other emotions. But, when we aren’t trying to push our feelings down or trying to control them, we can see how it’s possible to feel multiple emotions at the same time.

This is where the power of the word “and” comes in. You can feel anxiety and feel present at the same time. You can feel disappointment and gratitude together. Emotions are like waves. They ebb and flow together - they are not a state of being.

When you allow yourself to experience a multitude of emotions, you recognize you get to choose how you want to feel. Emotions happen, but you don’t have to listen or react if that doesn’t serve you.

Myth 5: There is only one level of emotion work

Before I experienced life coaching, I didn’t know what my emotions were. I was so accustomed to avoiding my feelings that I couldn’t tell you what I was feeling on a regular basis. As I began to do emotion work, it was so powerful, and I had many breakthroughs and transformations.

Over time, I began to wonder what was next. I felt like something was missing. I had learned to name my emotions, but I was still struggling with accepting and changing my relationship with them.

That’s when I discovered what I call Emotion Work 2.0.

This new level goes beyond the description of emotions and goes deeper to see what the feeling is trying to tell you. This is where healing happens!

Getting to the next level can take some time, but when you can extend compassion to your emotions and recognize the important messages they are trying to give you, everything changes.

How do I know if I need more help?

Many of us have lived with these misconceptions about emotions for our whole lives. When you learn the power of Emotion Work, you can use them to heal and create a life you love!

Many of my clients have done a lot of personal development work but felt like something was missing. When they learned my approach to Emotion Work, it changed everything for them. 

The best way to get started understanding your emotions is with my 4-Step C.A.L.M. Anxiety Method. 

Sign up for this free email course to learn:

• 2 essential truths you NEED to know about anxiety and other negative emotions
• Why thinking your way out of anxiety doesn’t work
• How to retrain your brain and body to calm the anxiety response
• An in-depth look at the 4 simple steps to walk through when confronted with anxiety, overwhelm, fear, or stress

CLICK HERE to get instant access to the free course!