Ep. 228- If I allow my emotions- they will take over [Myths about Emotions Series]

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Third Myth in this Emotions Series is around the idea that if I allow my emotions- then they will take over. 

Feeling Our Emotions DOESN'T mean they will take over. 

As we grow up, we hear variations of the idea that if we feel negative emotions- it will create a negative impact in our lives. So in essence, we do everything we can to not feel negative emotions. Because of course we want to be productive in our lives right? So negative emotions are not allowed. 

However, because of this belief, we also create more explosive emotions for ourselves.

Have you ever tried to hold a beach ball under the water? It takes so much time and effort right? And eventually, it just explodes out of the water.

This is just like our emotions. We believe that feeling our emotions creates that explosive beat ball effect.

However, not feeling our emotions creates that.

Feeling our emotions can create the experience of just allowing our emotions to sit on top of the water WITH us.

So how?  

1. First recognize the story you have around feeling emotions

We all have stories around feeling emotions. What is yours? Recognize it. Is it that if you feel your emotions it will take over? Or is the story around emotions that you might react to it if you feel it? Notice what that story is. Validate it.

2. Recognize if the emotions you're noticing are primary or secondary emotions. 

Secondary emotions tend to come because we suppress those primary emotions. Secondary emotions can feel explosive and powerful and almost like they come out of no where. They could be like anger, fear, anxiety, and even joy. However, they typically are covering up more raw emotions that we wouldn't allow ourselves to feel primarily. 

3. Use the CALM Method to feel both Primary AND Secondary Emotions

Learning to use the CALM method will help you to see that emotions don't take over when we allow them. They actually create more trust and control when we CALM those emotions. Listen to last weeks podcast to learn more.