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Ep. 225- Why Thought Work Doesn't Work

Feb 23, 2023

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In this episode, we're going to dive into why Thought Work doesn't work. 

What is thought work

Recently I've spoken to many new clients who have been doing coaching for awhile. They've read the books, they know the model, and yet are struggling to get traction. So we discuss what they think is in their way, and many of the times what I hear and see is that they think they need to practice more, or there's something wrong with them and get so frustrated with all the work they've been doing.

However, the work they've been 'doing' is thought work. They have been practicing, and writing, and becoming aware...and that is not going to work.

I love thought work. But thought work has a place. And that place is at the beginning of your journey. It's not the end all or be all. It's something that can scratch the surface. However to get lasting traction, you need to go deeper. You need to go beyond the thought work. 

This is how

1. Know what the benefit of thought work is

Thought work can be amazing to start the awareness process. It helps you to see what is in your control and what is going on for you. It can also help you be aware of what you might be feeling when you haven't been aware of that to begin with. 

Guiding questions:

  • What models or thoughts do I keep coming back to? 
  • What emotions come up with those areas of life? 

2. Why Thought Work Doesn't work

 We are human beings. Not robots. So while thought work is again a great way to get going on your awareness, that's not where we want to stop. We want to connect the head and the heart. Get to know those emotions. They need to be validated. 

Guiding questions:

  • Where am I feeling numb in my life? 
  • What emotion could be under that numb?
  • What emotion might I be afraid to feel?

3. Stay in your original model and thought

Again the reason I do love thought work is it does allow us to become aware of the model we are running from. The goal now is to stay in that original model/thought/emotion. Yes the one you're running from and trying to change with a new beautiful thought. Stay in that model. 

Guiding questions:

  • Where in your life do you find yourself saying "it shouldn't be this way". That is a sign of resistance. What might be under that resistance?  

4. Notice emotions that come up over and over again

 When emotions keep showing up, it's a sign we haven't processed it. Don't worry about the thoughts that drive those feelings. We just want to validate and allow those emotions. We want to learn from them. They have a reason for showing up. 

Guiding questions:

  • What emotion do you keep feeling? Shame? Anger? Triggered?
  • Where is that emotion? What does it look like? Does it move? What might it need from you?