Ep. 224- Why you need Grief AND Love

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In this episode, I share the benefit and need we have for allowing grief in our lives. 

Why you need Grief AND Love

Recently I lost my dear GG. We expected her passing and were grateful she left peacefully. However, even though I knew she was better off... I wasn't allowing for the emotion of grief to be present. I don't like to feel grief. It's not a very fun emotion. So I did the basics... named it, thought about it... and would quickly turn my thoughts to 'happy' thoughts to avoid the pain. This doesn't work. In the long term it will create more problems the more we stuff down the messages we need to allow. This is what I was doing. 

While I was stuffing down the emotion of grief, I was also inadvertently stuffing down love. This is the case for you too. If you run from one side, you prevent yourself to being open to the other side. We want to open to all sides of emotions. 

This is how

1. Notice where grief is coming up for you

Grief doesn't just come when we lose a loved one. It can come from things we don't expect to happen. In what areas of your life do you notice a lot of resistance...thinking it shouldn't be this way? That is a sign there is some unprocessed grief.  

Guiding questions:

• Where am I feeling stuck or like life is unfair?
• What emotions come up with those areas of life? 

2. NOT allowing for grief also means you're probably NOT allowing for love

We are meant to feel ALL emotions. When we shut down to grief, we are also shutting down to love. We want to become fluent in all emotions. Learning to open up to emotions prevents us from shutting down to experiences and opportunities.  

Guiding questions:

• Where am I feeling numb in my life? 
• What emotion could be under that numb?
• What emotion might I be afraid to feel?

3. Resisting grief only keeps you stuck

Many of us resist grief thinking it doesn't feel the greatest. Actually feeling grief feels cleansing. It's the resistance to grief that makes it not comfortable. When we can open up to grief, we move through it and open to love. 

Guiding questions:

• Where in your life do you find yourself saying "it shouldn't be this way". That is a sign of resistance. What might be under that resistance?  

4. Practice feeling LOVE

Love doesn't actually feel the greatest. If we're tense against grief, you're probably also tense against love. Now before you start to argue with me... check in to see where you are with love.

Guiding questions:

• When you consider love... can you describe it? Can you stay in your body with it and not go to stories, or thoughts? What does love say to you? What does love need from you?